Dr. Phil Life Laws Series: Law # 2 — You Create Your Own Experience


Life Law # 2—You create your own experience. Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating results.

You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don’t like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

Don’t play the role of the victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you’ve been dealt are good or bad, you’re in charge of yourself now.

Every choice you make—including the thoughts you think—has consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behaviors and thoughts—which will take a lot of discipline—you’ll get the right consequences.

Let me tell you why this is so important. If you don’t accept accountability, you will misdiagnose every problem you have. If you misdiagnose, you will mistreat. If you mistreat, things won’t get better, plain and simple. Even if you think there can’t possibly be a link between your problems and yourself, assume I’m right and keep digging for your role in the problems. It is there, I promise you. Trust me.

Since this law is absolute truth—since it is how the world works, like it or not—then resisting or denying this law keeps you stuck in the realm of fantasy. Your flight from responsibility will prevent you from taking the bit in your teeth and going to work on controlling your life. If you truly want change, and you truly acknowledge that you create your own experience, then you must analyze what you’ve done or haven’t done to create the undesirable results.