FSS Spotlight: Dr. Phil’s Ten Laws of Life

This month’s spotlight focuses on the Ten Life Laws devised by Dr. Phil McGraw which are the centerpiece of his classic book titled Life Strategies. This is by far the best book on the subject of self-improvement that I have ever read. Dr. Phil is famous for his no nonsense “tell it like it is” approach to dealing with the circumstances and issues that we have in our lives. I highly recommend the book, Life Strategies to everyone.

What follows is simply a synopsis of the ten life laws. In the book, he devotes a chapter to each life law and thoroughly explains how the law impacts your life.

#1 You either get it or you don't.
That means you either understand that YOU are your top priority or... you don't. If you had a history of letting men abuse you physically and emotionally, days will turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years... until one day you'll wake up and say, "I blew it." Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.

#2 You create your own experience.
Whether life treats you fairly or unfairly, you will always be in control of your reaction to it, and that determines where you come out. What you fear you create. If you decide you're going to continue the cycle, you will continue the cycle. Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability into your own life.

#3 People do what works.
Even the most destructive behaviors have a pay-off. Otherwise, we wouldn't engage in them. What behaviors are dragging you down? Figure them out or you're like a puppet on a string. Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

#4 You can't change what you don't acknowledge.
Be truthful about what isn't working and stop making excuses. You've got to face it to replace it. Your blind spots may be the very things you most need to see.Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it.

#5 Life rewards action.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," said Dr. Phil. The road to happiness, however, is paved with action. One action Dr. Phil urges us all to take is to think of the 5-10 most important people in our lives, and tell them how we feel about them. "You shouldn't let the sun set on another day with something unsaid to the people you love."Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.

#6 There is no reality, only perception.
We all view the world through filters, many of them, distorted. Some of them may be destroying your life. If you view the world through a dark, distorted filter, your world is going to be a dark, distorted place. If you perceive yourself as weak and vulnerable, you will be. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.

#7 Life is managed, not cured.
No one "solves" life. There's no way to "fix" it permanently. Nobody "arrives" at a place where the work is done. The best any of us can do is manage it through the ups and downs, joys and disappointments. You're a life manager, and you are your only client. Are you going to manage yourself into a place of happiness and accomplishment, or a place of sadness and disappointment? Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.

#8 We teach people how to treat us
This is one Oprah asked Dr. Phil to include in the book. Its meaning is simple: What you've accepted from people in the past is the clearest indicator to them of how they can treat you in the future. Strategy: Own, rather than complain about how people treat you.

#9 There is power in forgiveness.
Anger, hurt and resentment "are the things of which emotional prisons are made," said Dr. Phil. "And those prisons lock from the inside, not the outside." Forgiveness frees you. And the person you're forgiving doesn't have to acknowledge they're wrong or apologize. Don't forgive someone to make them feel better. Do it to make yourself feel better. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.

#10 You have to name it to claim it.
Get clear about what you want and take your turn. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.