FSS Newsletter :: December 2002

Money Matters :: How Do I Deal The With Pressure To Spend Money, Especially During The
Holiday Season?

by Nancy Twigg

Your company’s secretary is retiring after 20 years of service. You’re told that the organizers of her retirement party would like to get a $15 donation from each employee in order to buy her an expensive gift. You have enjoyed working with Mrs. Jones, but $15 is a little more than you feel you can spend. What do you do?

The scenario I have just described is an example of spending pressure. Anytime you feel under some sort of obligation to spend money you’d rather not, you are a victim to this form of peer pressure.

Your reasons for not wanting to spend or donate the money may vary. Maybe
you had a major expense recently that has left your bank account drained. Maybe your family is saving for a future purchase such as a home or car. Or maybe you just plain don’t need or want the item being sold. Whatever your reasons, situations such as these can be very stressful. If you give in to pressure and say "yes", you know you will most likely regret it later.

My husband, Michael and I have always had a problem with spending under pressure, although we would sometimes do it anyway if the cause seemed worthy. In the last year, however, when we began living on one salary rather than two, we’ve had to be diligent about not giving in to pressure. It has been difficult at times, especially when we wanted to be supportive of the person or charity involved. Let me give you an example.

Around Thanksgiving last year, some of the teens in our church were selling Christmas wreaths to raise money for a trip with the local Christian youth
association. I was approached by a young lady of whom I am very fond. The wreaths were to be made of fresh greenery and ranged in price from $26 to
$35. Although I feel this organization provides a tremendous ministry, even the least expensive wreath was more than we were willing to spend to support the organization. In fact, $26 was more than double what Michael and I had agreed to spend on our Christmas tree! Therefore, I kindly explained to her that if we bought a wreath, we probably couldn’t afford to buy a Christmas tree. I felt that it was very important for me to be straight with her about it and she seemed to appreciate my honesty.

Our discussion provided an opportunity for her to see a little more of the adult world of financial responsibility and good money management. A few years back, when I began to realize how much damage spending under pressure could do to our budget, I formulated my own set of guidelines to help me make good decisions in these situations. Now, because I have clearly defined the criteria by which I judge such requests, I am better able to deal with spending pressure. By rationally considering whether each solicitation passes my "spending test", I am able to say "no" politely but confidently, rather than feeling like the bad guy for refusing.

Here are the questions I ask myself when I am approached:
1. Do we have the money to spare? If the answer to this question is "no", I need not go on to the other questions. This is where the importance of a budget comes in. How will I really know if we have the money to spar unless I have a clear picture of our income and monthly expenses? Our budget helps us keep up with our spending and our anticipated expenses. One look at our budget sheet tells me exactly how much money we can spare that month.

2. Is this an item I really need or can use? If I already have more kitchen gadgets than I have room for, how can I justify buying another one? An item that is not needed is rarely a wise use of my money. Better instead to make a cash donation if I really want to support the organization.

3. Is the item reasonably priced? Unfortunately, with many fund raiser items, the answer to this question is usually "no". I try to be just a value-conscious in supporting worthy causes as I am in other areas of spending. An overpriced item is still overpriced, no matter what cause the money is supporting.

4. Is this spending consistent with my values? If the item being sold is not something I personally value, why would I want to spend money that could instead be used for something I do value, such as saving for retirement?

Using these guidelines helps to relieve the stress associated with spending pressure. Rather than an emotional decision that leaves you feeling guilty, your response is based on a logical decision of how to best use your money. What if a particular request does not pass your spending criteria but you still feel compelled to help out? Make a small donation directly to the organization rather than buying that item you don’t need. Donate your time or talent to do something that is needed. In the case of the friend selling products you do not wish to buy, offer to help out in another way such as babysitting or making refreshments for her next party. Remember, there are
many ways to support a person or organization without giving in to spending pressure.