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Dr. Phil’s Advice: Life Scripts &
Limiting Labels
How fixed beliefs define our roles:
Our fixed beliefs define the roles we play in life and
have a lot to do with the scripts that are running them. Just
as actors follow a play's script for lines, actions and
attitude, we follow life scripts according to what our fixed
beliefs tell us. Are you telling yourself that you are a
tragic character or heroic character? Are you playing the
loving mother, abusive husband, frustrated artist or
successful businessman?
Why scripts are dangerous:
Whatever your fixed beliefs are, you have practiced your
script for so long that you believe what it says about you and
your potential. This is why life scripts are dangerous. We
begin to perceive them as being set in stone. We even allow
them to shape the way we expect things to turn out. Fixed
beliefs also influence the casting, location and wardrobe of
our script. Who is "right" for the part in our script and who
isn't? What type of living arrangement and attire are
appropriate for the character we are playing, etc.?
When life scripts become limiting:
Because our scripts are based on fixed beliefs, we tend to
resist any challenges or changes to them. If we suddenly feel
happy and fulfilled, but our script says that we should feel
sad and hopeless, we tend to panic because we've gone "off
script." It just doesn't feel right and besides, the happy
role belongs to someone else, doesn't it? This is an example
of why most fixed beliefs are also limiting beliefs. They
limit our scripts by dictating what we can't do, don't deserve
and aren't qualified for.
Labels are incredibly powerful influences in your life. You
may not be consciously aware of even a fraction of your
labels, whether they come from the outside world or from
within yourself. Either way, you must acknowledge the
existence of labels, challenge the "fit," and confront the
impact these labels have on your concept of self.
Ask yourself the following questions in order to start
identifying and evaluating your labels. Write your answers
down so that you can review them later.
- How do you label yourself? Are you a career woman, a
mom, an accountant, a politician? Are you a failure or a
winner? Are you a "fat girl" or a "pretty girl?" Write down
all the labels you attach to yourself, going back as far as
you can remember.
- Where did these labels come from? Did they come from
you? Your parents? A teacher? A friend? Look at each label
you wrote down in the above question, and identify where
each one came from.
- Are you living to your labels? How are your labels
working for you? What are your payoffs?
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