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Dr. Phil’s Advice: Making Family
Resolutions
In this day and age, it's easy to get overscheduled, stressed
out and disorganized. Make this year the year you make your
family a priority — to spend more time together, live in less
chaos or even just have more fun.
Take inventory and prioritize. If you want to turn
chaos into harmony and rhythm in your household, you have to
be willing to challenge everything. Nothing is sacred. You may
have to change your lifestyle, rearrange your schedule or drop
some of your commitments in order to fully benefit your
family. Are your children involved in too many activities? Are
you so busy you never have time alone with your spouse? Ask
yourself what's really important to you and your family.
Recognize what you're doing to contribute to the problem.
You may be very loving and well-intended, but you could be
making critical mistakes. Are you a control freak? Never say
no even when you're overscheduled? Have no time to sit and
enjoy your children? Think about what changes could start with
you.
Learn to delegate. Oftentimes, mothers take it all on
themselves when their children are old enough to lend a
helping hand. You can't do everything. It's admirable, but not
realistic. Divide up the labor and responsibilities so you're
not so worn out all the time. Give your kids specific tasks
that they can each be responsible for. Your kids will
appreciate it. It'll make them feel helpful and you'll have
more to give them in return.
Eat meals together. Spending time together is vital. If
everyone has a different schedule and you don't even gather
together for a family meal, you are missing an important part
of a cohesive family. Make a commitment to sit down for a
family meal every evening. Everyone needs to get around the
dinner table and talk about the day. Turn the TV off, take the
phone off the hook and turn the chaos down. You can enjoy this
time together, laughing and talking.
Create family rituals. Plan something fun for everyone
to look forward to. Pick one night a week for game night. It's
the time to de-stress, decompress, relax and have fun together
without the TV on or the phone ringing. Do your children like
to bake? Bake something new every week. Find special things to
do every holiday or birthday. Your kids may roll their eyes,
but their ears still work and they'll be grateful for the time
together.
Schedule family meetings. Taking just a short amount of
time to gather and calmly talk about the week, what's coming,
what's expected, and to ask questions can really bond a
family. It's also a good time to organize the schedule, work
out family problems and allow everyone to be heard.
Make each child feel special. Make a commitment to have
"dates" with each of your kids. Find one thing you can do
that's unique to each child that you don't do with the other
kids. Know that you are very important to your children. The
time you spend with them is vital to who they become as
adults.
Nurture your relationship with your spouse. One of the
most important things you can do for your children is to take
care of their mom and dad. Don't stop being friends and lovers
because you've become parents. Schedule in date night for just
the two of you. Remember why you fell in love in the first
place.
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