FSS Newsletter :: June 2002

FSS Spotlight :: Top 7 Lies That Prevent Powerful Results

By Kathy Gates

Have you ever considered that most of what happens in your life happens because of the way you think? Your thinking directs your emotional reaction, which in turn directs your behavior. The way you react to a situation is not just a representation of the events; your reaction also depends on what you think the events mean.

Everyone has something in their life that they would like to change. Nobody's life circumstances and environment are perfect. But what do you tend to tell yourself about these circumstances? Often times, it's easy to fix blame on others. Consider, however, that your feelings are not caused by your cranky boss, or the construction on the street, or the inconsiderate friend; but rather your feelings are caused by what you TELL yourself about your circumstances. One writer gives the following example: Imagine that a friend is quite late to meet you for dinner. Depending on what you THINK (i.e., she was in an accident, she's rude, I wanted to do something else anyway), you might be worried, annoyed, or relieved. These feelings (ignited by the thoughts) will then dictate how you react, i.e., calling the police, having angry words for her, or being glad she bailed on you.

What you tell yourself, or what you think about your circumstances, may keep you stuck in a bad situation. That is why recognizing the lies you tell yourself is very important.

These lies prevent us from being as powerful as we really are.

1. It'll never happen.
It's true, we have all seen our lives change in a
heartbeat - sometimes an upturn, and sometimes a downturn. But generally success is a longer road that takes daily work to make it a reality. It will happen. Don't expect it to happen overnight, but expect it to happen. Don't give up. Powerful Results come from taking baby steps, one after another, day after day, until you reach your goal.

2. Complaining is OK.
The Law of Attraction states that you will attract
whatever you put out there. If you have a habit of complaining, you will attract more complainers to you. Life reflects back to you what you are expending. Or as the Bible puts it, "you reap what you sow." One of my favorite cartoons, "The Far Side," shows the character contemplating Spring, and she says, "Time to go out in the garden to see if the bulbs I didn't plant, didn't come up." Powerful Results come from planting the seeds for what you want to grow.

3. Fix It Later.
Winners recognize that it doesn't always matter how the
hole got in the boat. It matters that it gets fixed so that you can get on with the fishing. However, it DOES matter if you keep running over the same rock day after day, and you are patching the same hole over and over. It is important to find the SOURCE of the hole and stop allowing it to happen. Powerful Results come from creating a lifestyle that supports your desires.

4. Having an *idea* instead of a plan.
Did you miss becoming a doctor, or dancer, or chef, or actor, or travel agent because you were "absent" the day they were handing out those careers. Of course not. All of those careers require that a person choose to go to school, sometimes for many years. If you don't purposefully choose the path to go down, something else will choose it for you. "Those who don't create their future, must endure the future they get." Powerful Results come from creating a plan and getting into action.

5. Ignoring your talents.
Thomas Leonard, founder of Coach University, suggests that you "perfect or customize what you want out of life so that it fits you perfectly." This means using your natural talents in a way that works best for you, in all that you do. So often we put ourselves into a role or get so busy responding to life's daily crisis, that we end up frustrated with busy work instead of taking the time to sort out what we're good at, let our strengths help us, and then be willing to ask for help with the rest. Powerful Results come from customizing whatever you do so that's it's a better fit for you.

6. Having Elusive Goals instead of Do-able Goals.
An elusive goal is "lose 10 pounds." There's no strategy or plan associated with that. A do-able goal is "walk 30 minutes each day," or "stop snacking after dinner." That's a plan of action that has measurable results. Powerful Results come from specific actions that have measurable results.

7. Adopting a "what I do doesn't matter" attitude.
It's easy to say to yourself that other people and circumstances prevent you from doing something. It's easy to think that they are more powerful than you are, so your puny contribution won't matter in the long run. But this attitude tends to paralyze you, and keep you out of the action of creating better circumstances. Powerful Results come from being honest with yourself, listening to yourself, then doing what needs to be done.