FSS Newsletter :: March 2003
FSS Spotlight :: Building Your Net Worth Through Friendships
By Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D.
When times have been tough,
what is the most critical outside influence that has helped
you to rebound? It has been my experience that my support
system, composed of family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors
have
been the most influential in getting me back on my feet again.
The strength and scope of our relationships with others
is a critical factor in rebounding from a crisis. Supportive
people in our lives provide us encouragement, guidance, lend
a shoulder to cry on and most of all, and give us their love.
They are there to coach us, celebrate our victories, laugh
with us, play with us, back us financially, cheer us onward,
boost our morale, and share our dreams.
How can we insure
that these supporting people will be there for us? How do
we acquire these people into our lives? How can we build
our
support structure of key people? It is obvious that we are
born into a family and many marry into someone's family.
We acquire friends through many avenues including: schools,
neighborhoods, churches, business, social clubs, and introductions
made
by other friends. Colleagues are fellow workers and
those in our professional organizations. Neighbors live in
the surrounding area.
As we select our spouses or life partners,
we must think about the likelihood of living through a crisis
with this person. There are sure to be many trying times.
That person's love, support and encouragement will be critical
in the recovery process. The love shared between you and
your partner must be intense and unyielding. The partner
must be willing to make extreme sacrifices on your behalf
and dedicate their life to your recovery.
In many families,
oftentimes conflicts arise and relationships are severed.
Sometimes we are too stubborn to forgive other family members
for what
we perceive are unkind deeds or words that upset us. Over
time, resentments set in and it becomes more difficult to
open up the lines of communication in order to resolve differences
and conflicts. Sometimes a crisis brings family members back
together. We sometimes waiver in and out of love with our
family members, but when we need them the most, we think
of them first.
It is wiser to resolve family conflicts early
so that resentments do not have a chance to settle in. Open
the lines of communication. Share your feelings. Give in
for the sake of the relationship. Share your need for their
unconditional love and support.
When I think of my investments,
I think of assets in the bank. I also think of my friends.
Like a savings account, my bank of friends is a value to
me both now and in the future. Friends are a part of my net
worth. I must remember to make regular deposits into my bank
of friends by way of contacting them and nurturing our friendships.
When they need me, I must be there for them. When they have
a celebration, I must celebrate too. We need to support our
friends over time and strengthen the bonds.
As we want our
assets to grow, so should we want to increase the number
of friends in our lives. Meet new people. Share like interests
and spend time with them. Communicate with them on a regular
basis and get to know some of
their friends too. The song, "That's What Friends Are
For" by Dionne
Warwick reminds us about the value of friends.
Keep smiling, keep shining,
Knowing you can always count on me,
For sure,
that's what friends are for,
For good times, and bad times,
I`ll be on
your side forevermore,
That's what friends are for.
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