FSS Newsletter :: November 2003

FSS Spotlight :: Getting Along with Each Other

Lucy, in the Peanuts cartoon strip by the late Charles Schulz, once said: " I love mankind. It's people I can't stand." Ask recruiters from various companies to name the number one skill necessary for new hires. Many of them will say it's the ability to get along with other people.

Sounds pretty simple, but for many people it's difficult. Few people are born knowing how to relate well to others. We learn in childhood how to get along with people, which is something we call "people skills." You can continue to develop these skills so that you don't rub people the wrong way.

I saw an article in USA Today that outlined some of the basics: Smile. This seems very simple, but it's amazing how a person's moods and words are misjudged because they look too serious. A smile shows that you like yourself. You like your current place in the world. You're happy with the people you're interacting with. It is a fact that people tend to respond to the look you are wearing on your face. And it's good to remember that everyone smiles in the same language.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Often when we're nervous talking to others, we hide it by talking incessantly about ourselves. People interpret this as arrogance. You really don't have to say much at all. Ask an open ended question and let the other person begin talking.

Remember names. The sweetest and most important sound in any language is your own name on someone else's lips. You can never say someone's name too much. If you are constantly using others' names as you talk, they will know you care enough to remember who they are.

Look people in the eye. Every time a person begins talking to you, look him or her in the eye and smile first. Then get on with the conversation. When you enter a room for a meeting, smile and look around at everyone. If you want to start talking to one person, or even a group, approach them and smile.

Offices are like minifamilies. Co-workers spend up to 11 hours a day in close proximity. They share the same office space, facilities, break rooms, refrigerators, coffee pots. Everyone shares responsibility for making the company work, run smoothly and stay profitable. They arrive together, take breaks together, eat lunch together and meet to solve problems together.

Finally, at the end of the day, they head off to their "real" homes. All this closeness and familiarity can wear thin at times … just like in real families.

We could all learn some lessons from the way geese behave. Scientists have discovered why geese fly in a V-formation when they head south for the winter or back north for the summer. When each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a V-formation the whole flock adds at least 70 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

People who share a common direction and sense of communication get where
they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the trust of each other. Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation. This takes advantage of the lifting power of the birds immediately in front.

If we have as much sense as a goose we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same direction we are going. When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates to the back and another goose flies the point. It pays to take turns doing hard jobs, whether with people or with geese migrating. The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. We need to be careful what we say when we honk from behind.

Finally, when a goose gets sick, falls out or is wounded by gunshot, two geese fall out of formation to help and protect it. They stay with the goose until it is either able to fly or until it is dead. Then they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up with their flock. If we have the sense of a goose, we will get along with each other.